The great blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach; but we shut our eyes, and like people in the dark, we all foul upon the very thing we search for, without finding it – Seneca. It is in a man’s nature to be ungrateful. We are never satisfied with what we have. We always want more. More money, more clothes, more friends, better grades, better houses, better cars, better food and everything that comes to our minds. There’s no limit to our desires.
Everything we have never seems enough. It never seems to satisfy us completely. The force of jealousy drives us crazy. We always look at people who we “think” have better lives and get depressed on how we’re so inferior. We seldom look at those who are living in misery, and be thankful about how blessed we are. This is what stops us from being satisfied. This is what stops us from being happy.
I was born and raised in a middle class family. Just like everyone else in the world, I had a list of things I had, and a much longer list of things I still wanted. I always felt unfortunate at how I couldn’t afford everything that some of my cousins could. They lived in bigger houses and had better toys. When we met, they had more stories to tell about their trips all around the world, and I felt that the stories I had were too dull to tell.
I hated how my mother complained of not having enough money, and how my dad worked day and night to give us everything he could. I wasn’t a very bright student either, and was always compared with my cousins who had better grades, and friends who were smarter than me in my class. I hated everyone who compared me with others and everyone who I was compared with. I grew up thinking I had a miserable life. Every family gathering, every result day, every birthday, every wedding made me feel more unfortunate.
Time passed by, and I got into college. That too, by taking a loan, as my father’s income wasn’t enough to pay for my education. My college was nothing like that of my rich cousins, but I needed a degree no matter how. I wanted to try my best to have a better life than I’ve always had. I started studying very seriously and devoted all my energy to it. Did every assignment, every exam, and every project with complete dedication. I had no clue of how one of my projects would change my perspective about life completely.
One of my projects required my group to visit a low income area of our city. We found a slum very close to where I lived. My mother told me about it and said that my driver lived in that area too so it’d be easy for him to take us there. We drove for around 10 minutes and we had reached the entrance of that slum. My driver warned us that from that point ahead, streets were too narrow to be safe for our car. We stepped out and decided to walk around. We thought it’d also be a better idea because we’ll be able to observe things more keenly.
The first thing that hit us when we stepped out of the car was the unbearable smell of stagnant water, garbage, sewerage, and cow dung all mixed together. When I looked around, I saw a young child, naked from head to toe, picking out things from a heap of garbage. I was utterly disgusted at that sight. How could he even go near that? The smell, the germs, the whole idea of picking out things from a hill of garbage, did nothing disturb him? Adding to my surprise, just while I was in a state of shock to see what he was doing, he very normally, picked something out and put it in his mouth.
I couldn’t believe it. I always thought such things were mere exaggeration of poverty in our country and didn’t actually exist. I went up to that child and stopped him. He didn’t seem very pleased at this action, but I told him if he took me to his house right now I’ll pay him. He seemed to be too young to understand the concept of money that well, but the thought of getting something probably attracted him. He ran towards his house and we followed him.
We stopped in front of a building I would barely call a house. It was very small and poorly built. The door was open, so were the windows. Weren’t these people afraid of anyone coming inside just like that? I asked that kid to call his mother outside. He went inside, and with him came a young simple woman of weight slightly below average, who he called ammi. I told her how I needed to interview her for a project, and she seemed quite excited about it. She invited us in.
Inside, the smell suffocated us even more. The house only had one room, a bathroom, and a kitchen. We could barely breathe inside. She offered us tea but we refused by saying we didn’t have much time. She seemed so fascinated by our visit that I could see the shine in her eyes. She very happily sat with us expecting us to ask questions.
“Are you happy here?” One of my friends asked her.
I thought it was a stupid question. How could she be happy? She lived in a small stinky house and her child was eating out of garbage.
“Yes, very”. She joyfully replied.
“Really? How?” I had no intentions of asking that question but it just came out.
“What do you mean how? I have a husband who loves me. He works all day long and when he comes home, he hands over his money to me. My neighbor Sakeena’s husband is a drug addict. He beats her up everyday. She works hard and earns for her family, but all she gets in return is abuse. You should also go to Rashida’s house. She lives in the same street. Her son is handicapped. He’s 21 and he can’t even eat on his own. I can’t even imagine what she would have to go through everyday. At least my Bashir is a normal independent child”. She pulled that child closer and caresses his hair.
I was speechless. She had so much positive energy in her smile. She was so optimistic. Within a few minutes, without even realizing, she had opened my eyes. I realized happiness was no destination. It was just a part of the journey. The way we see things changes everything. If we think about those who have bigger problems in their lives, we realize how blessed and fortunate we are. If we start counting our blessings, we will never be able to finish the list. We all have so much that we probably never even asked for.
To live happily is to value everything we have, and not grieve over what we don’t have. No one has a perfect life. My cousin who I was always compared with lost his father in a car accident. Some of my friends who get better grades in my class were so poor that they couldn’t even go to college and had to start working to support their families. If everyone only considered our problems and weaknesses, there would be no happiness in the world. That day, I went home with a content heart, and learnt the most important lesson in life: Happiness lies within us.
marriam92 